''What's Wrong With Me?". Have You Been Having Feeling Down Lately?

          ''WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?'' 

Symptoms of Depression& How To Deal.

 If you've had a persistent moody feeling for more than 2 weeks,its likely you're suffering from depression.

Being depressed is more than just being sad or feeling blue though. Depression is a serious illness that often goes undiagnosed.

 According to WHO(World Health Organisation), depression is the most common illness affecting over 300 million people worldwide.

Women, the most affected have better coping methods as they are more likely to discuss their feelings with a loved one and seek help compared to the male counterparts that might have difficulty opening up to others.

Depression also affects children and adolescents manifesting itself in symptoms like anger, being irritable,feeling worthless,loss of appetite, suicidal thoughts and social withdrawal.

One thing to note however is that in going through life's experiences; getting rejected,losing a loved one, getting divorced,facing a midlife crisis can predispose an individual to depression.

For me as a teenager, it was being bullied.
Outside the safety net of loved ones,people tend to prey on those they perceive as weak.
It was a new school. I was small for my age and really shy. It seemed being good at academics got me unwanted attention that only led to trouble.

Taunted and teased by those tagged as ''popular''. It was only a matter of time before I found that all the exuberance that came with my age shriveled and died.

Suddenly communicating with others became a mess of mumbled words and anxiousness.

I felt worthless and depressed when I was alone.But I would always put on masks in front of everyone else.

School was my prison and only my books understood me.I lost myself in them.

At home,my eating habits suffered.My mom didn't understand.

 I couldn't go anywhere alone because I was scared I would be cornered.

Every side conversation and laughter I heard,my mind would turn on me. Mocking me.

Hiding inside myself was the only way I could cope. It was there I learnt to express myself on paper. 

Never being judged, well as much as I would in a personal conversation anyway.

It took years of self reinvention and close knit friendships to pull myself out of the dark hole I was in.

Looking back, I realise now it was only feelings of inadequacy that could prompt them to do all they did but my young ignorant self had to go through so much emotional turmoil during those years.

As an adult, sometimes I still struggle with effects of the trauma that resurface now and then.

Now that I am older and wiser, I see that growing up in a home without a father figure made me predisposed to accepting  less than acceptable comments about myself because of feelings of unworthiness.

 I can forgive and stand up for myself and be the better for it.

 Emotionally, It has made me gentler and more understanding with others going through difficulty.

If you're suffering from depression,even as an adult; I suggest you do not keep the problem to yourself but try to talk about it to maybe your pastor,or close friend. 

Someone you feel safe with. Or visit a qualified therapist to understand the root cause and how to treat it.

                                            Until Next Time.